The 7 Stages When Stepping Up To Responsibility – Podcast Episode 29



caralee fontenele law of living well

This week I wanted to follow on from last weeks podcast and discus how to actually take action when taking FULL responsibility of your life!

We all know people who blame others for the outcomes of their life, perhaps work colleagues, family or yourself! Turning your mindset around to reminding yourself that everything in YOUR life is your responsibility. Being brave and owning your mistakes is a huge part of your life, today I will be guiding you right the way through the steps to you owning your life!

1. Stop complaining

Being in the mindset where you are always complaining about circumstances, areas in your life and anything else, puts you in the position of being the victim, someone who isn’t in control of your life. The truth is, the world is not perfect and the people who are around us are not perfect, including yourself – nobody is perfect! We must accept that things most often won’t go our way!

If things in your day don’t go as expected, instead of complaining about these instances try to turn the narrative around and focus on what we can learn from the situation.

Everything is a learning curve, good or not. Sometimes the worst situations have the biggest learning gems of all in them! Yes, we may have to get dirty to find the diamond, that is just life.

For me I am so happy that all of the crappy things have happened (yes, there have been plenty) and I had no idea why they were happening to me in the first place, but I am so glad now they happened. Don’t feed into the negativity, instead find the good in positive ways to deal with life events.

2. Refuse to take anything personally!

If you haven’t read the book, The Four Agreements you must! It is a book that covers so many self growth topics, and not taking things personally is one of them! So, when you take things personally, you are assuming everything is about you! The truth is, not everything in life is about us – in facet most people are so focused on their own agendas that it is very rarely about us. Everyday little items, we don’t need to take that personally – it isn’t about us! Even the big things in life, maybe your partner leaving you for another person which is incredibly painful – it isn’t about you at all! It is about them! You don’t have control over how people perceive you or how they feel toward you, it is not up to you! When we refuse to take anything personally, we are able to step up into responsibility. Instead of making assumptions, ask questions! This is a liberating practice with never ending surprises. I have this little blurb I want to share with you from The Four Agreements that I feel wraps this one up well..

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves, all people live in their own dream in their own mind, they are in a completely different world from the one you live in When we take something personally, we take the assumption that we know what is in our world and we try to impose our world on their world.”

3. Stop blaming others, or circumstances

One of the signature behaviors of someone who doesn’t take responsibility for their own lives, is when that person is always looking for others or circumstances to place blame. The reason we don’t have the results in our lives is not because of partners, parents, economy or your boss. By blaming constantly keeps us in the victim mode and it robs us of changing our situation.

When we are able to stop blaming people or circumstances, as people we can shift from being a victim to living in victory!

4. Be responsible and know you are responsible

The way you feel and the outcome of how you act is 1000% up to you. We all create our own narrative and emotions. Our feelings are the way we show our actions and every little thing that floats through our heads is displayed that way. We need to choose what thoughts to look into and what ones to just let float out. Nobody can make you feel, think or do anything that you don’t want to do! In the same way that you don’t have any power to control others actions or feelings. When you can step into the power of how you think, feel and act that means so so so much!

5. Stop making excuses!

In life we can make excuses for everything! How many times have you heard someone say, oh I was going to do that, I was going to start that business, I wanted to be that profession but they have a huge, thought out excuse as to why it couldn’t happen for them. Time, support, finance and the list goes on for the excuses!

Excuses are created when we don’t want to get the heck out of our comfort zone and press action on our lives! If you really want something, you will find a way!

Taking responsibility means it is time for an excuse clear out and taking small steps to where you want to go. When you do this it clarifies life and makes your goals so much clearer!

Change your life! If you don’ like your profession, study again! If you don’t have time, drop the less valuable activities, or wake up an hour early and if you don’t have a supportive partner well then, get a new one! Haha!


6. Stepping into the power of intention.

One of the best parts about being a human being is we have SO many choices! Sometimes they are good, bad, o average,

In life sometimes we get so used to our lives, that the choices just blend in. When really we have the opportunity to do the most amazing things, we just get very automatic in the way we do things. We get used to choices and how they are so drilled into us from upbringing or habit that we forget to shape our own lives with our own choices! Instead of doing things automatically we should start doing things from a way of intention.

Taking responsibility of your life means to be intentional! Stepping back and adjusting life to be suitable for the time you are in. Question why do I do that, does it make sense? If you have traveled to an Asian country they eat with chopsticks but we eat with a knife and fork, is there a right way? No! It is just he way we do things, maybe you would actually prefer to eat with chopsticks but you have just chosen regular cutlery because it is what you know!

7. Actually follow through

To take full responsibility is reliant of actually following through. We can’t just bail when the times get tough, we need to keep going and get to where we said we would. When I look at people who I know in my life who have had amazing success, from the people who aren’t quite there yet is mainly due to ACTION!

We often have amazing intentions, however following through is the biggest decider and key to success. Without actions we have nothing! Actions speak soooo much louder than words! Living your life with purpose and take charge, magic will happen. Goals will be ticked off, relationships will be improved and you will step into a positive outlook on life.




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© caralee fontenele 2020