Today on the podcast we are talking about how to show up as your best self, for yourself. Often, we go through life in this haze of busyness where we are just stepping through the motions and all the things that we have to do, we just do. We are not really showing up and being our best version of ourselves, rather we are just getting through life because we feel as though we have to. At the end of the day, often it can be easy to just sail through the tasks we need to do, which lacks a sense of depth for others as it just gets us through. Really it is survival mode.
How do we show up as the best version of ourselves every day? It is more than one thing and you need to be intentional. For most people, this stuff doesn’t happen by itself, it is work and commitment. It is making a decision that you are going to choose and be the best version of yourself.
We all have habits and self-beliefs that don’t serve us, but if we can recognize what these are, we can change them, improve and show up in our own lives in a more impactful and powerful way.
Below are 8 of my tips on how you can show up as your best self, every day:
Tip number one:
Make a decision that no matter what life throws at you, you will find the positives in it. Let’s face it, life can throw some curve balls, it can be challenging and life can bring out the worst in people. I most certainly see this every day in my work as a divorce lawyer. We cannot control everything that goes on around us, but we can control ourselves, our mind, our actions and the way that we perceive things. This is huge! If you can master this, you can show up for yourself and others in a whole new way, you can choose to be happy, you can choose to see the positives, you can choose to have compassion and be understanding.
Tip number two:
Make a start. If there is something that you want to do for yourself, just start. There is no other way to get going. I find that when you take the first step that is when the path will begin to reveal itself. As that saying goes, the staircase will reveal itself as you take each step at a time, and this is true for everything. We have the incredible ability to learn, to grow and to experience. There are so many things that I have done, like write and publish books for example, once I started and took the first step the path became clear. It always does, but you have to take the first step to see the second.
Tip number three:
Accept that the best version of yourself should be meet the expectation that you have for yourself and not what anybody else’s expectations are. Living with the expectation of others is a soul killer. You end up not living your best life, it builds resentment and there is no good in it, for you or for the people that surround you. Often as women we do this, we create a life that is expected of us rather than the one that we long for.
Tip number four:
Stop thinking that there is a short cut or it is going to be easy. It is not going to be easy. To show up as your best version takes work. It takes time to think about these steps, to be intentional, to maybe have conflict, to work, to get out of your comfort zone. There are no short cuts, but remember for anything amazing in life, there never will be a short cut.
Tip number five:
Say yes to your dreams. The thing is that lots of us have dreams, desires and wishes for the future, but so many of us are afraid to really put it out there as to what they are. What do you actually want out of your life? What lights you up? What does your dream life look like? Just say it, don’t be afraid to own it. You cannot say yes to your dreams if you can’t even say them out loud. Be brave enough to own it, own what you want. I wasted so many years being too afraid to live in my truth, why? Probably because the fear of failure and the fear of what other people will think. You cannot show up as your best self, for yourself if you are even too afraid to admit what you actually want. It seems crazy, but it is true.
Tip number six:
Hone in on your good habits and recognise the habits that you would like to leave behind. Just because you have thought it or done it the same way your whole life, does not mean it is the right way. It is incredible that we are creatures where we have the power to make change in our lives, whenever and wherever we want. We can change the way we speak, the way we think, eat, move, who we spend time with, how we feel and how we grow. What great habits do you have that want to keep, what habits do you have that you can improve on, or change?
Tip number seven:
Okay, next up we have something that most of us are guilty of and that is wasting time and energy. Sweating over the small stuff. If we are worrying about things that we can’t control, getting caught up in drama, focusing on all the small things that go wrong or things that are just not quite perfect, we can get consumed.
Are these things going to matter next Wednesday, next month or next year? Look, the majority of this stuff isn’t going to matter in time to come, so why get wound up by any of it? Why waste time and energy on these things. We are all guilty of this from time to time. Learning to let go is a great skill and will serve you well in being able to be the best version on yourself.
Tip number eight:
My final tip is to focus on self-care, you are here listening to this podcast so that is a great start. If you want to operate at your best you must incorporate self-care into your everyday life. There are some basics like eating well, for me that is real food, lots of veggies and cooking at home, also getting plenty of sleep and drinking lots of water. If you are eating junk food on the regular, drinking too much booze, not getting enough sleep, or not moving your body, you are simply not going to be able to show up as your best self, not for anyone else, and most importantly not for you.
These are the basics, there are so many other things that we can do to nourish ourselves. Nurturing your wellness, looking after your mental health, working on gratitude, taking time out from the to recharge, setting healthy boundaries in relationships with your partner, children or colleagues, saying NO to the wrong things and YES to the right things and doing things that inspire you.
What are you doing to show up as your best self, for yourself? What can you work on this week?
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