Going through a separation and divorce is one of the most stressful times of a person’s life. It is all consuming and very overwhelming, sometimes to the point that you are paralysed from the overwhelm and can’t step forward.
I see it every day with my clients and I give them these tips to help them through the process and reduce the stress and overwhelm.
STOP LIVING IN THE FUTURE
Your stress levels increase to boiling point, worrying yourself sick about the future, because it all seems so uncertain when you are in the limbo period of separation. The truth is that at every point in our lives, there is no certainty and we only have now.
It can be easy to make up stories in your head about things that might happen and your mind has you believing those stories and before you know it you are worrying yourself sick about something possibly isn’t even a reality. You think and stress about all the things that need to be done in the future or what they future might look like.
There are all kinds of scary what-if’s in your head that, in reality, aren’t so bad and are very unlikely to happen. This is for all areas of your life but absolutely as you move through your separation and divorce.
Worrying and stressing about future events doesn’t mean that these things are true or factual. It only diverts energy and focus from what’s happening in the present moment and prevents you from making wise decisions.
By simply noticing that the stories you are playing over in your head and acknowledging that that is all they are, you can regain control and bring things back to the present moment.
FOCUS ON ONE BITE AT A TIME
I give my clients this analogy when I see that they are struggling with overwhelm because I think that it is very helpful, especially as you move through the unknowns of separation and divorce.
If I was to give you a whole apple, you would not eat the entire apple in one bite, you know that the apple would make you choke!
You take the apple and you bite one bite at a time, you chew the bite until you are able to safely swallow it, so that your body can digest it. Then you take another bite. As you bite through the apple you are able to reach other parts of the apple near the core. Just like when you take another step forward the path of life reveals itself.
This is how you live in the now, deal with what is before you now and overcome overwhelm. Make your next one decision and don’t worry about the other things, one thing at a time and allow time for your life path to reveal itself.
When it reveals itself, you will understand, like I did…. That the best is yet to come!