As a lawyer, I understand that we often deal with the legal issues and then wish you good luck for the future, now that the divorce has been finalised. As someone who has been through separation and divorce twice, I know firsthand that there is a lot more that is required than just the legal side of a divorce and often you are left to re-create your life. The legal work may be done, however now you have to work through many more details before the experience is properly behind you.
Where have you been left financially, what are your dreams and goals now you are not with your partner, what about love in the future, how to trust again, what friends have stuck by your side, what about ongoing communication with your ex-partner and doing a good job in your new co-parenting role… the list of finding your new normal is extensive. After separation and divorce there are many changes that you need to come to terms with, so how can you create your best life within your new circumstances?
Creating New Goals, Dreams And Visions For Your Life
I have always been a huge believer in goal-setting and putting out to the universe through creating a vision, sharing with friends and family and journaling your intentions what you want to achieve as well as implementing action plans to make it happen.
Setting new goals is an exciting process and it will help you to focus on the future rather than the past. Not only will you start to feel positive and excited about what lays ahead of you but you will actually set the future in motion. Looking forward to the future again with sparkle will help you to feel positive about your new life, which is exactly what you need when you are going through a huge life change such as divorce. You will become in control and empowered when you have short term and long term future plans that you are excited about.
There will be some goals from your past that may have dropped away now that you are single again and there will be new ones that will ignite. There may be a whole list of things that you want to do in your life that your ex-partner wasn’t interested in.
It is important that when you set your goals that you don’t limit yourself. This can be really hard as we often put barriers up before we even start. Have fun with it and write down all of the dreams that you aspire to whether in your realm of reality or not. Don’t be shy, remember anything is possible. You have nothing to lose when you are writing your aspirations and dreams down, you can’t fail.
First of all spend 30 – 60 minutes in a quite space and write down your perfect life in 5 years from now. What does your day look and feel like? Where will you live? Who will be in your life? What will you do on a daily basis? Enjoy!
Goal Setting For Certain Areas Of Your Life
You can then break it down into many areas of your life and created smaller and larger goals. Here are some ideas that might help you to set future goals for six months, twelve months, five years and ten years ahead.
- Travel and new destinations;
- Things to explore close to home;
- Fitness and health;
- Blog or writing ;
- New hobby;
- Career ;
- Things you want to do with your kids;
- Something new you want to learn.
Once you have your goals outlined and are excited about how the future looks, you can start taking action, little steps at a time that will help you to get there.
This new focus really helps you to reconnect yourself with your own life. You will feel alive, positive and that the future looks bright again after having it crash around you through separation and divorce.