HOW TO BE IN CONTROL WITH ONLINE DATING

After a divorce, a woman tends to feel very lonely, scared and hurt.  The prospects of dating again seem like an impossible mountain to climb.  It is frightening to think of going through the whole meeting a new guy-motion.  And especially so when you have little ones to consider.

After working long hours and struggling through many a school project with the kids, all you feel but doing is getting dressed and going on a date.  Or even going out to a group event trying to look for the correct man seems like a chore.

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No one wants to be alone.  It is awesome to come home from work, sit with a glass of wine in hand and chat about the day’s events with someone.  Modern technology has made life a lot easier for us. We don’t only have to rely on church/book club/school PTA meetings to try and meet people.  Now the whole dating pool is your oyster.

The internet has opened up a whole new world of dating – a bigger world at that.  But also a very dangerous world. Online dating, much like traditional dating, can have its nerve-wracking moments.

But don’t fear, it is not all “doom and gloom”.  Here are a few guidelines you can follow to help you survive online dating.

  • PLANNING, PLANNING, PLANNING

As with anything else in life, proper planning is the key to success.  Sit beforehand and decide what you are looking for. What type of commitment?  What qualities in a man are you looking for?

  • PICK YOUR SPOT

Go through the variety of dating sites available.  See which of these more or less matches to your type of lifestyle or interests.  Then stick to these for a start when developing your dating profile.

  • HONESTY IS KEY

Just as frustrating as it will be to find out your date has lied on his profile, so too for you.  Don’t mess around with people’s feelings. Don’t create expectations of a person that you are not.  Be truthful.

  • SWEET AND SHORT

Try to keep your profile simple and short; don’t write a novel as a basic biography.  Keep it light and relaxed. Also, don’t try to impersonate the Comedy Club in your profile.  A bit of humour is fine, but overdoing it, not so much.

  • KEEP YOUR DISTANCE

Post your profile and then relax about it.  Don’t hog your internet continuously trying to see if and when someone responds.  It is a good idea to browse through the available profiles, but not so much so that it starts taking over your life.

  • RELAX AND DRINK COFFEE

The problem with online dating is people tend to lie.  Not everyone is truthful in what they post on their profiles.  A good rule of thumb is to try and regularly contact your prospect(s).  This way you will start to get to know the person behind the profile.

A coffee date for a first date is a super idea!  This way, when you start feeling awkward or nervous, you can easily bail on the date.  Save the more complex dates for later, as the relationship further develops.

Dating is scary, even at 35 or older and with kids in tow.  And online dating even more. But use the above basic guidelines and try to enjoy the journey.  Focus on having a bit of fun in the process.

May each date you go on help you to get to know yourself better, figure out what you want and appreciate what is available.

 

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